


When He Sees Me

by LastOneOut



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/M, Fluff, Introspection, Soulmate AU, Soulmate Reveal, cheesy fluff, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-07
Updated: 2016-08-07
Packaged: 2018-07-29 21:39:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7700677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LastOneOut/pseuds/LastOneOut
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"What if when he knows me, he's only disappointed?<br/>What if I give myself away, to only get it given back?<br/>I couldn't live with that.</p><p>So, I'm just fine, inside my shell-shaped mind.<br/>This way I get the best view.<br/>So that when he sees me, I want him to."</p><p>-or-</p><p>Pidge knows that Lance is her soulmate, she's known since she met him. He doesn't, and part of her wants to keep it that way. But fate, as always, has other plans.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When He Sees Me

**Author's Note:**

> I just love Soulmate AUs. So much.
> 
> (Title inspired by the song 'When He Sees Me' from Waitress)

Lance. Lance. L-a-n-c-e. She runs her hand over and over the word. Tracing each letter, not even bothering to look. She doesn’t need to, time having ingrained it completely into her brain. Lance.

She sighs, resting her head on her workbench. It’s not that she doesn’t want him to know...not exactly anyway. Because honestly the way he looks at her sometimes, with that deep, focused gaze that is so unlike him, almost convinces her that he does.

And what if he does? Soulmates are supposed to know right away, she sure did. But he never said anything, and she figures it's in part it’s because he doesn't know her real name. But she still wonders. She’s hidden herself under lie after lie to the point that even she doesn’t know who she is sometimes. At this point she wouldn't be surprised if it did say ‘Pidge’ instead of ‘Katie’.

But then he would know. And that would mean that he doesn’t like her. Is that even possible? She doesn’t know what she’d do if he didn't. If she just became some burden. She’d never heard of it happening, but there was a first time for everything, right?

And what if he likes Pidge, but doesn't like Katie? What if he prefers Katie, the old one who wore dresses and had long hair and was decidedly more feminine than who she was now? He’s always seemed like the kind of guy who was into girly girls. She doesn't want to lie to him...to pretend to be someone she isn’t anymore, but isn't that what she's doing now? Lying?

And worst of all, what if he sees all of it and loves her, every single part. What if she falls for him even harder and finds that she can't live without him and ends up happier than she ever thought she could be? All of that...she could lose it at any moment. Being a paladin wasn't the safest job in the galaxy, and she's already lost so much. She doesn't think she could stand to lose him too.

Of course all of that is silly, since it's not like he knows, and at this rate he might never know.

Maybe she wouldn’t be so concerned if today hadn’t been the day that she told everyone the truth about her gender. Lance had, of course, freaked out. But more in a ‘this person I thought was a guy is actually a girl’ way, not in a ‘holy shit you’re my soulmate’ kind of way. She doesn’t know if she’s more happy or disappointed by that.

She runs her hand idly over his name again, written in (surprisingly) neat blue handwriting, positioned right over her heart. She hates how she’s already completely in love with him. It’s stupid and unfair. He doesn't even know who she really is and she already cares for him more than she can describe. Does he sit up at night wondering and worrying about her? About who ‘Katie’ might be? Hoping that he finds her and loves her? That doesn't seem like Lance, he's always been a go with the flow kind of guy. But who knows?

“Hey...Pidge?”

She jolts, turning to see (who else) but Lance standing by the door to her hangar, looking more uncomfortable than she thinks she has ever seen him. Speak of the devil. She forces a smile, hoping she sounds more nonchalant than she feels. “Oh, hey Lance. What’s up?”

“Can I talk to you?” He asks quietly.

“You’re already talking to me.”

“Uh...yeah...um...” He walks over to her, his hand ghosting over his heart. Oh god, he knows. This is it. It’s actually happening. Oh god, _oh god_ , _**oh god**_ \- “Can I show you something?”

She tries to hide the tremble in her voice with a cough, “Yeah, of course.”

He stands awkwardly for a moment before slowly pulling his shirt up. She blushes, but doesn't look away as the letters emblazoned right over his heart are revealed. So that’s what it looks like. Her name written in dark green scratchy handwriting that she instantly recognizes as her own.

“Thats you, isn’t it? Your real name...it’s Katie.”

She can’t bring herself to look him in the eyes. Isn't she supposed to be happy? Why does she only feel embarrassed? Why is she so scared?

“...yes.”

“I knew it.”

Suddenly her eyes are burning and her chin is quivering and she tries to stop it but soon enough the tears are sliding down her cheeks. Great. As if this wasn’t embarrassing enough.

“Oh, oh no, don’t cry.” He reaches over and starts to wipe them away, but his gentle touch only makes her cry more.

“I’m sorry.”

“Why are you apologizing?”

“I knew. I knew since I met you. I just thought...I mean I was lying about who I was and...and I was a guy and you didn’t seem to know so I figured I could just keep it a secret, because what if you didn’t like ‘Pidge’ or you didn’t end up liking who I was under all that and I couldn’t bear it if you didn’t and then I would just be some burden so it felt safer to just lie and, and I’m so sorry.”

“Wow” He says after a long pause, “...that is a lot of things.”

“What?”

“Do you always worry this much?” She nods, “Sounds exhausting.”

She huffs, looking away and wiping her face clean on her sleeves. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a handkerchief, and she takes it and buries her face in it. She has to stop crying. It takes her a moment, but several pathetic sniffs and hiccups later she pulls the cloth away and hands it back to him.

“You don’t have anything to worry about.” He says with an understanding smile. He takes her hands, and she’s struck by how soft they are, a stark contrast to her scarred and calloused ones. “Heh, your palms are sweaty.” He comments with a smirk.

“Well no one’s making you hold them.” She snaps, trying to pull away, but he only holds them tighter.

“No, no, it’s fine.”

“Well...good, because I’m a very sweaty person so you’re gonna have to get used to it.” She says matter-of-factly and he gives her an odd look before chuckling. She tries to stay stoic but his laugh is infectious and soon she’s giggling along. Even in situations like this he can’t stay serious, but she finds that she doesn’t mind. It’s...comforting. Like nothing can be so bad a joke and a smile can't fix it.

“I’ve thought that it was you for a while, you know.” He says after their laughter dies down. She looks at him skeptically, and he nods and continues, “I have. You know that weird, tingly feeling you’re supposed to get? I got it every single time I looked at you. And I thought I must be crazy because you were ‘Pidge’ not whoever ‘Katie’ was. Then I thought maybe you like, changed your name, or it was a nickname or something...but I’ve been Lance my whole life...and you never said anything so I figured I was just wrong.”

“Lance...”

“And then I was really worried, because we weren’t on earth anymore and that meant that I might never find you. We might die, or get captured or never make it home. And so I told myself that I had to fight even harder to stop Zarkon so that I could make it back home and find you...” Her heart warms and flutters, the thought of him fighting to protect her is oddly sweet. (Even though she would be the first to swear that she didn’t need anyone to protect her, thank you very much.)

But it hardly seems important right now, because he’s holding her hands so gently and looking at her with that warm, loving gaze and she can feel herself melting. Which is probably embarrassing. Probably.

“Pidge...Katie...I’m so glad that you’re here. And that you’re you.” She smiles, and her soulmark tingles in that weird, wonderful way. So she grabs him and pulls him into a tight hug. He lets out a laugh and returns the hug, holding her close against him. She can feel his heartbeat, fluttering like hers, and smell his body wash, the same kind they all used, but on him it smelled better, mixing with his natural scent. She never knew that anything could feel so...right.

“Me too.” She says, burying her face in his shoulder. Yeah. Just right.

“Um, So...” He asks awkwardly when they pull away. “What do we do now?”

“Hmm. Well I think you’re supposed to sweep me off my feet and carry me away into the sunset on a white horse.”

“Will a blue lion work?” He asks hopefully.

She smirks. “I don’t know. I’m pretty into tradition, if you couldn’t tell.”

“Ah, well. It can’t be helped. I guess it wasn’t meant to be.”

She punches his shoulder lightly. “Yes, it was.”

He kisses her cheek, grinning at her blush. “Yes. It was.”

 


End file.
